Chronic Pain and Intimacy

It is true that chronic pain may take away a lot of things in life but the last thing to go hopefully is your intimacy sexual or otherwise with your partner. In the world of ther chronic pain sufferer the simple act of sleeping in the same bed, laying or sitting close on the couch can become a luxury. So the goal is to communicate and met in the middle. Know that anxiety may be on the forefront as the fear of any added pain or stress to be certain way can make things more on edge. So take it slow remember that you care about your partner and you are building trust. Try holding hands and looking into each others eyes. Also it will be important for your partner to be educated about your pain and how to be mindful of how to support you. So get started by getting those fears out of the way. Maybe you could each state one fear and the move forward. You might find that you both fear the same thing. Make it playful, sensual and safe,

How does your foot taste now?

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I’m not sure about the universe.
~ Albert Einstein

Forgive me… I just feel the need to rant for a minute about the stupidity of people when it comes to dealing with chronic illness. I say stupidity instead of ignorance because there is a HUGE difference.

Ignorance is genuinely not knowing something. If you don’t know about something then it is your responsibility to seek knowledge and/or understanding before you speak about it or on behalf of it.

Stupidity is just speaking about something without the knowledge or caring to understand.

Sooo that being said to all you “normals” out there that have chosen to act stupidly in my presence when it comes to my illnesses and/or diseases, don’t. Just don’t say a damn word. You don’t know me, you don’t know my coping mechanisms, abilities, or tolerance levels.
Since I was a teen I was on the go from the time my feet hit the floor early in the morning until almost midnight. I went to high school, I worked since 14, volunteered as a tutor, AND took college classes.

I started nursing school in 2002 as a newly divorced mother of two kids. I worked, went to college, and took care of my kids. During the first year of college I had 3 major surgeries within 5 months all done on a Friday and I was back to class on Monday. I was also homeless at one point during that time.

NOW, talk to me about “staying determined”. Now, even with 3 diseases I constantly battle every minute of the day I am the Executive Director & Treasurer of a non-profit charity that on some days I have to run from my bed. Determined? Maybe not to some people, but I AM determined to make everyone who judges me for a second to feel as stupidly as you act.

The lesson here? Know what the hell you’re talking about before you question my determination and forgive me if I might wish for a break from the external forces that causes me so much pain from time to time. (Like the weather) I didn’t mean to disturb you!

Nordic Walking Poles Help Seniors Get Active at 2009 Senior EmPower Day

REAL Nordic Walking Poles From WWW.SKIWALKING.COM and the American Nordic Walking System

The 2009 Senior EmPower Day provided seniors from across Northern Michigan the opportunity to test drive real Nordic Walking Poles from SKIWALKING.COM and the American Nordic Walking System, hear from a variety of informative speakers and learn from other event sponsors and exhibitors.

Nordic Walking definitely helped to get event participants out walking – including those that utilize canes and walkers. The most enthusiastic group tested the poles for about one-mile. Many climbed the steep hill above the parking lot and everyone was shocked at how the poles made climbing hills easier. When Nordic Walking poles are sized correctly and the right technique is used, the biomechanics are such that balance, stability, posture and gait are radically improved. The perfect length poles also help to radically reduce the stress to the shins, knees, hips and back.

Nordic Walking’s winning combination of improved posture, a unique 4-Wheel-Drive type action and shock absorbing benefits – helping many individuals to walk comfortably again. Nordic Walking Poles are helping individuals with balance issues, knee issues or new knees, hip issues or new hips, back issues (including those with rods in their back), weight issues, multiple sclerosis (MS), parkinson’s (PD), neuropathy, arthritis, bursitis, scoliosis, lumbar stenosis, fibromyalgia, post polio, osteoporosis, stroke recovery, cancer recovery and other limitations to walking. Nordic Walking poles are helping thousands of Americans get off the couch, successfully get outside, start walking safely and effectively launch much needed walking campaigns.

Here is what Mike told us after taking his new poles out for his first solo test drive: “Friday evening I walked nearly 2 miles with them WITHOUT PAIN! I was so, so pleased – just tickled me to death. Can’t say enough positive about them. Now I’m trying to find my pedometer, as I have made a covenant with myself regarding 10 miles per week. I am so looking forward to achieving it!”

Some of the participants commented that they had twist-locking poles at home and most reported problems with their twist-locking poles. They also commented on the comfort and effectiveness of the straps included with all of our SWIX and EXEL Nordic Walking Poles – patented by the Salomon Ski Company.

It is a hassle for me to travel with so many different sizes of quality one-piece poles, but they are safer, lighter and much more durable than cheap twist-lock and flip-lock poles from China. I have been receiving a record number of calls from Nordic Walking Instructors that report problems with their twist-lock poles and the embarrassment of trying to teach a class when their twist-locks don’t cooperate.

At SKIWALKING.COM and The American Nordic Walking System we carry 14 standard lengths of Nordic Walking Poles, plus we can do custom fitting for extra tall individuals – 6’ 7″ and above. One-piece poles prove to be safer, lighter and much more durable than cheap twist-lock or flip-lock adjustable length/telescoping/collapsible poles.

When looking for quality Nordic Walking Poles be sure to zero in on the correct length, look for poles with Salomon patented Nordic Walking Straps and avoid cheap twist-lock/flip-lock poles.

Walking with poles is the best!

fibromyalgia and my magic bike

blogging about my magic bike, fibromyalgia, pain, the love of a dog and magical memories.

My first blog entry…

magic bike

My first blog, here or anywhere!  It is a Monday, so I guess a good day to begin a blog.

I could talk about pain.  I woke up in so much today that it was two hours later; after having taken my medication and drinking a few cups of coffee, that the shock hit me mentally and emotionally.

I was standing in my wooded yard having the coffee when I felt a burst of emotions and quickly came tears.  It didn’t last long, but it was remembering the pain I’d felt when I woke up this morning that was the source of the outburst.  Post-pain-shock or something.

I have fibromyalgia.

A Rheumatologist and fibromyalgia research doctor, whom I must say I’m very glad to have had the opportunity to meet,  is the doctor who gave me my third or fourth, and I guess official diagnosis of fibromyalgia in 2006.

This doctor says that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I have, is the same thing as fibromyalgia.  He calls fibromyalgia (Central Sensitivity Syndrome,) CSS.

I believe anyone who truly has fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue knows pain as well as just about anyone.  Certainly we are high on the list of people who know what it is like to endure severe pain — fatigue of the body and brain, and — to keep on going!  Which takes me to another subject to write about:  My Magic Bike.

I bought a magic bike. It’s magic because when I got on it I felt free.  It reminded me of me.  The me I have forgotten to keep up with.

I remembered what it had been like to ride my first ten-speed bicycle, which  my dad gave me for my 13th birthday.  I used to ride it  for miles and miles.  We lived in a small rural town with plenty of country roads to ride on.

That bike took me all sorts of places, rivers, communities I’d only heard about but mostly I rode where there were pastures and a few houses along side of the country roads.  We didn’t wear helmets back then.  I’d hold my hands up high and ride down curvy hills all the way like that.  That was my freedom bike.  Truly, my wheels.

My magic bike I have now was special from the time I thought about it in my head — but once I ordered it online is when the magic really began!

I made a list of things I needed for my magic bike while I waited for them to build it.  Then I made a list of things I didn’t need.  What would be the most unnecessary thing I wondered, that a bike shop has to offer.  I suspected that the item might be the exact thing I wanted.  I asked one of the young men working at the shop what he thought this item might be and he answered with just what I wanted:  Pink and white handle-bar streamers!

The streamers seemed to be like a starter for the bike’s magic power, but it still needed something.  I took it in for a check-up and knew pretty much what I wanted. A bell! I asked the young man where the bells were and of course they were beside the streamers!  I found the coolest bell ever!  A Jelly Bell I think it is called.  I knew it was the right bell for my little magic bike!

My 25 year old son and I rode our bikes last night by the light of the moon, and–by the light of my little Flea LED light, which is totally awesome and I think brighter than the lights on my car!

“This is nice isn’t it Mom,” my son said as we rode along the quiet road, me on my magic bike and him on his regular but cool blue bike.

“Yeah… this is nice,” and I knew it was one of those special moments in time to remember.

I am grateful for the moment and now,

for my magical memory.

by dogkisses,

my first blog, original post on August 10th, 2009

Building a Support Network for Fibromyalgia

If you are dealing with a long-term illness, you have seen MANY doctors over the years. After a while, that number narrows down to become a focused team of health care professionals. Your team might consist of the following; a general physician, a pain management specialist, a neurologist, an endocrinologist, an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, a physiologist, a physical therapist, and the list of “specialists ” could go on and on. Each of us builds our medical support team differently based upon our needs.

Using this same model of a support system, I have a team of friends to help me out. A support team of friends can help you through your toughest challenges. Just like with a medical support team, everyone’s support team is different, they can help you when you do not know how to help yourself. However, a friend support team’s roles are never set in stone. Friends can help you with a bit of laughter, when you need someone to hold your hand during medical procedures, when you need encouragement, when you need a shoulder to cry on, when you need someone to bounce ideas off-of, or just when you want companionship during a “flare-up”. An organized support team becomes an essential tool to help you stay positive, healthy, and on top of your pain.

Developing and managing a strong support system is not an easy task. There are many issues that come up which make it difficult for your friends, and even your family members to be part of your support system. There is a huge challenge of keeping everyone informed about your ever-changing health condition. This challenge is well worth it though, because the friend support system comes in handy when you need it the most!

Honesty between you and your supporters is a priority. You need to be able to tell your friends what you need from them. And in turn, they need to be able to say what they can and cannot do for you. The best advice I was ever given was never be afraid to say, “No, you can’t do something”, especially to a friend. Make a pact with your supporters that they will never agree to do something unless they really want to so it for you. They should never feel burdened by you, and you the same by them. That way when you call asking for help, you know they are truly helping you because they want to, not out of pity. It seems strange to ask this of you dearest friends. But, by making this pact, it seems to help rebuild your self-esteem, especially after that sixth late night “help” call.

There are a number of ways to establish your own support team. I name mine based on what function or situation I need from that friend. I write down in my journal the following functions and next to each, I write a couple of friends’ names. I write down a few names next to each function to insure I always have someone to call if I need them, and I never exhaust my resources.

Nurse Betty: a friend to hold your hand while they take yet another sample of blood

Pal MD: a friend to call to discuss health care choices

Iron man: physical help needed, remember not to over exert yourself

Class Clown: a good chuckle cures all ails!

Let it all hang out: vent or whine about this and that, call when things are tough

Gossip Gal: a pal to chat with when you just need a friend

This side up: Flare-up = level 10+, I call this friend when my pain gets so bad I do not know how or what to make it better.

Smell the roses: You have become a hermit. Cobwebs have grown around your front door. Call this friend and get out and about.

Positive reinforcement: Life is great! You are wonderful! Call this friend and everything will be better!

Look at the friend support team like a grocery list. I tend to have about 3-5 people at a time on my support team. Each friend’s (and/or family’s) role can change over time. Some friends hold multiple roles; others drift in or out of your support team. And some of your friends might not be able to be part of your support system, which is also perfectly ok.

Think about building your support team when you are not overly tired or in pain. Make notes on what qualities your friends have that help you out the most. For example, my mother is the person I call to “Let it all hang out”. Because she also has Fibromyalgia, I can vent to her about ongoing medical bills and medication conflicts.
How to keep a strong support team:
Just has we become exhausted of dealing with our illness; our friends also become tired of hearing about it. Learn to rotate your support team. Do not vent to the same friend all the time! There is more to life than blood tests and trigger point injections.

Rotate who you call each pain flare-up. If you call the same person each pain flare-up, eventually, that person will become exhausted of the flare-ups just as much as you.

Look outside your own circle of friends for venting or medical advice. There are plenty of online help groups where many patients are going through the same medical issues. Like face-to-face discussion; reach out and find a support group in your area. The National Fibromyalgia Association is a great resource to locate a group.

Educate your support team. Fibro- My –Al- gee-a what? Help others understand what you are going through by giving them resources to read at their own pace. Some people do not want to know everything, others have so many questions it is arduous. Here are some websites that help family and friends understand more about FM:
www.fmaware.org
Mayo Clinic

Keep them close:

Remember, you will need someone from your support team the most when you can think the least. Keep your support team’s contact information handy; put their contact information on speed dial, create a Facebook group, paint their Twitter accounts on your ceiling, whatever you need to do to help you find them the easiest way possible.

Good news this morning

Yesterday I introduced a new food into my diet experiment…eggs.  And guess what?  No adverse effects this morning.  Yeah, baby!  So I think eggs are back in.  This opens up a lot in the baking world.  Maybe it was the egg replacer in the brownies that wrecked it.

When it comes to baked goods, hope springs eternal in the Mighty Fibromite’s life.  Haha!

My cold is full blown with coughing and sinus and a sore throat.  And I still feel 10 times better than I did before my diet started.  Weird, huh?

I feel so lucky and I feel grateful.

Humpty Dumpty....

had a great fall. Thats how I have felt for more than a week now so I really haven’t been around much. I am trying to find a happy medium at which I can get my homework done on time and done right, take care of my daughter and keep up a household of five people. The last week I have dragged myself out of bed, gotten my daughter off to school, cleaned (which consists of sweeping the floors, vacuuming floors, dishes, laundry, putting things away, cleaning bathrooms, making my bed, etc.) then trying to do homework. Not working, I end up so tired and sore I can’t concentrate and all I want to do is sleep, which is hard because I hurt.

So today I tried something new, I dragged myself out of bed, got my daughter off to school, poured my coffee, made my bed and started my homework and got it done! I did nothing else except dishes after supper. I still have to shower, and remember to find time for lunch(I forget to eat). So looks like the rest of the household is going to have to pitch in and help out some. With two of them in their 30’s i think thats a reasonable expectation!

Top 6 Reason to Take Time To Do Egoscue

Top 6 Reasons When You NEED To Do Your Egoscue Menu:

#6
When you are so tired and all you want to do is sleep but each muscle is just so fidgety if you slept all you would do is toss and turn

#5
When you have sat all day without getting up to stretch your legs

#4
When you have done a hard work-out, or a day of lawn work, or 18-holes of golf, or any exercise

#3
When it seems your life just won’t get out of the way and taking twenty minutes seems so hard. But you find time to watch TV instead.

#2
When you are in PAIN… you know “the pain” where you think sitting still will just make it magically disappear

#1
Everyday!!! You are worth it to yourself

Do you have any other reasons? If so let us know

WHEN DRUG THERAPIES AND ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES DON'T WORK

View This Poll

poll

You just bought yet another supplement. Two weeks down the road, you haven’t noticed any changes. The supplement is expensive and you’re tired of keeping your hopes up. Is it worth continuing? After all, shouldn’t it have done something by now?

When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, one of the very first medications they give you is prednisone, a type of steroid, known as a corticosteroid. As with any steroid, this drug is very fast acting. Unfortunately, the drugs I tried after Prednisone took much, much longer to work. Methotrexate can take up to six months to work for some people, while for others it can work as early as one or two months. And then there are others who never experience any relief from Methotrexate after having been on it for many months.

So what do you really need to know when trying out a new drug, supplement or therapy? How do you know if you’ve given it enough time? Why is it that some people seem to do really well with supplements and claim they work, while others claim they don’t work at all? Why do some people have to try endless drug therapies before they finally reach the right one, while others might get relief right away?

Here are my thoughts on how to make any drug, supplement or therapy a success………

1. Research the drug, supplement or therapy.

Research, research and then research some more! It’s impossible to have a successful outcome from all drugs or therapies in terms of getting relief, but not wasting your time is success! I always have my favorite dependable sites like Mayoclinic for example that I depend on for information, but do be sure to also look at blogs, Wikipedia and ask people on support groups, as well as people you might personally know. It’s important to get a well rounded view on possible outcomes. Most people will be against experimentation. You’re not always going to get the kind of support you want, and that’s something to consider also. In the end remember, it’s your body and your decision, period.

2. Have realistic expectations.

If you have a chronic disease, the odds are against you, that you will find a drug or supplement that puts you in remission. Many people do go into remission, but many more don’t. There are different types of remission as well. Most people who achieve remission, achieve “drug induced remission” meaning that if they went off the drugs, their symptoms would come back full force. There is the rare person who achieves remission and can go off drugs without the return of symptoms. There are also different degrees of drug induced remission. You can be considered in remission and yet still have some symptoms of the disease. Most auto-immune diseases require “stacking” medication before symptoms of the disease are relieved. Keep that in mind when taking supplements. Although there are many supplements that can do amazing things, you will mot likely still have some symptoms of your disease if you are on only one supplement. Drugs and supplements both take time to work. Research how long it usually takes for something to work and consider adding on an extra month just in case your body takes longer than most. Remember that this is somewhat of a gamble. Even your doctor doesn’t know what drug will best suit you or how long it will take.

3. Understand “Hering’s Law”.

Natural Healing is based on “hering’s law” which in a nutshell means that people often re-visit previous symptoms temporarily. This is often when people quit their new supplement or medication, while re-visiting symptoms is often an indicator that you’re on the right track! Having side effects from a drug or supplement doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Any kind of detox will give you side effects simply because the toxins have to re-enter your blood stream and exit your body. This can cause lots of symptoms. Antibiotic therapy is also another therapy that people often stop because they suddenly get side effects. If people could just realize that this is often a sign that you’ve found the right medication for you, they could stay on the right track and reap the benefits right around the corner! On the flip side, side effects that are not normally a disease symptom, like vomiting or blurry vision, depending on your disease, could be a sign that the drug you’re taking is not the right drug for you. For people on drugs like methotrexate, side effects often become less severe over time, but this is not considered “Hering’s Law.” “Hering’s Law” is the re-visitation of old symptoms from the disease itself, not new side effects from the drug. If you are having severe side effects like vomiting or blurry vision and these are not normal symptoms of your disease, then you should consider talking with your doctor and possibly coming off of the drug.

Some pharmaceutical drugs don’t cause you to re-visit symptoms because they suppress the immune system. Suppressing the immune system, vs. emptying the body of toxins are two entirely different things. It’s important to realize that side effects are simply part of the healing process when it comes to a lot of supplements, alternative therapies and select drugs.

5. Don’t group all supplements or alternative medications into one lump sum.

Look at each one individually and it’s specific mechanics. This means that if one product doesn’t work for them, they often give up on all products even though they are all so vastly different. Again, research is key. It’s absolutely essential to understand how a supplement, drug or therapy works so that you’re not hindering the process. Some supplements or drugs require a special diet or other supplements in order for them to work.  N-Acetyl Cysteine is one of them. It rids your body of toxic metals. But it’s important to take this supplement with extra Vitamin C among other things in order for it to work. Along with that, you have to supplement the metals that are important to your body, like zinc, iron and selenium because N-Acetyl Cysteine doesn’t have the capabilities of only selecting specific metals.

6. Try to take into account how complicated the body is, how much it changes from person to person and how if something doesn’t work for one person, it doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t work for you.

I feel it’s helpful to have a back up plan in case the drug, supplement or therapy doesn’t work. I also research like crazy to find out how long it takes to work for most people and at what dose. And if I’m purely running an experiment and I’m the ONLY one I know that’s taking the supplement then I give myself at least three months to feel its effects. Perhaps that’s not even long enough, but I know that with Vitamin E, for instance, it can take up to three months before you might notice a difference. So hang in there and give it plenty of time!

7. Natural healing needs the effort of the person to consider what they’re ingesting, whether it’s the wrong foods or medications that are inhibiting the supplement from working.

Again, research is key. When I finally took the leap and tried alternative therapies, the first thing I tried was Low Dose Naltexone. There was a growing buzz on the internet and in my support group that LDN was working for people with autoimmune diseases, particularly Multiple Sclerosis and Crohn’s. I convinced two other people on my support group to try LDN too. We couldn’t find anyone on the internet who had RA and was trying LDN and the only information we could find about it was on the LDN website. We had no idea how long it would take to work, or how well it could work. All we had were each other, and that was at least, something.

One of the women, we’ll call her Susy, started feeling a difference with LDN right away, while the another woman, we’ll call her Jennifer and I were waiting patiently for something to happen. At around two months, I noticed I could finally sleep on my sides again, something I hadn’t been able to do in over a year. It was a miracle. But Jennifer still hadn’t had any positive results with LDN. She had stopped taking Enbrel, and I had stopped taking methotrexate. So we were really dependent on LDN working. As time went on, she tightened up her diet and went through horrible flares. She almost gave up. Enbrel hadn’t worked for her, so she continued to hope that LDN would do something. After six months on LDN she started to finally reap the benefits. But why did it take so long? And why at the four month mark, did both of us start to experience more frequent flares? She eventually decided to try minocycline therapy while still taking LDN. We agreed that LDN was working for us, but we also felt that because we still had inflammation, we needed something more to get things under control. Four months later of  Minocycline and LDN, and Jennifer is in remission. She no longer takes LDN or Minnocycline. She is a perfect example that some things are worth the wait.

I never took minocycline therapy and I have various reasons why. Instead I decided to try Serracor-NK, which was a recommendation from a neighbor. At first I was skeptical because so many other supplements I had tried didn’t work. Still, I was impressed with the case studies online and one in particular with an older woman with RA who took Serracor-NK. But after one month and no changes, not even any noticeable side effects and I started to wonder if my money was going down the drain. Knowing the supplement did not decrease the woman from the case studies’ ESR rate until the second month, I vowed to hang in there, determined that if I didn’t at least stick it out that long, I would always wonder if it could have worked. To my grateful surprise, at two months I did feel a difference, and at four months, I felt a tremendous difference. In fact, each day gets better and better!

In the end, listen to your body and do what you feel is right. You have to live in your own skin. You are the only person that knows you the way that you do. And don’t forget to share your successes with the rest of us!

One of those doctors...

She said, you don’t need to go to one of those doctors do you? They prescribe those “funny” medications.

Are you feeling “better” today? You know, lighter or relieved? [the doctor told me to lose weight, exercise, get a divorce and find a new job yesterday]

After 17 years of checking myself into a hospital due to being suicidal, she still doesn’t understand.

After living with a chronically-depressed man for 45 years, she doesn’t understand…

or does she not want to see it?

It’s time to be transparent…

It Came In The Form Of A Waterfall......

The old time worn saying that when it rains it pours….. couldn’t be more true on this past awful day. Yes, we have had some rain off and on …. out side that is…. but inside….. we had a waterfall…already feeling like crude due to the change of weather, but that wasn’t enough….ooohhh nnoo… not for me…. the upstairs bath had a pipe break and before I even knew it was broke I had a waterfall coming out of my ceiling into my dinning room so very close to the antique china hutch that took me months to lovingly restore and that was years ago… Lord knows now I could not do all that type of work on it again….too heavy for me to move so had to get help…. it is just such a mess and too worn out to deal with it….. but did what I could….. but the stress has now triggered my IBS that has been so quiet for so long…but now hitting me with a vengeance…. can’t sleep with this IBS cramping and back and forth….. have been posting with some of my “normie” friends to try and keep my mind off things as much as I can…. and works for awhile but not for very long…. these friends are great they do their best to understand and will worry if they don’t hear from me and respect when I’m just too tired or it is taking me awhile to recoup after a flair up or infection of some sort gets it’s hold on me and I have to rest…. I’ve been very lucky to have these friends when so many others just drifted away….. well this has been a bad day for me and I’m ready to close it out and hope that the new day will be better and hopefully our paths may cross again but not while I’m on my way to the “powder room” …lol…. :} … Lila

Low Serotonin and Fibromyalgia

Although there are many possible causes of fibromyalgia, what can be certain is that all of the possible causes are a direct result of a cascade of disturbances and resulting malfunctions. Chronic fatigue, chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia and many other so called “chronic diseases” are not different diseases, but the result of similar cellular malfunctions manifesting differently in different people because of different genes, diets, toxic exposures, lifestyles, beliefs, emotions and life experiences, in other words…stress!

So what is fibromyalgia and how can low serotonin be a common factor?

Fibromyalgia is recognized as a chronic condition that causes intense pain in various places around the body, including muscles, connective tissues and joints, as well as a host of other symptoms. At least ten million Americans, mostly women, suffer from it and research has shown that fibromyalgia is a condition that is unquestionably associated with low serotonin! Raising seratonin levels not only has a powerful muscle-relaxing effect, it can also powerfully stimulate our natural painkillers, the endorphins!

Now, of course, fibromyalgia can have other causes, too, including low thyroid, it usually responds very well to amino acid therapy. It must also be observed that low thyroid has been shown to be secondary to adrenal fatigue as cortisol blocks the conversion of T4 to T3, so when considering how to treat fibromyalgia it only makes sense that we observe the destructive nature of adrenal fatigue.

Increased cortisol to DHEA ratios, are a result of chronic stress. Chronic stress places the body in a sympathetic state, otherwise known as “fight or flight,” which further places increased demands on each and every system of the body, including the ability of the body to repair and restore musculoskeletal health.  This vicious cycle, repeated day in and day out, creates inefficiency in the body, and nutrients that would have been used for one process are now doing the work for two.

Each one of us has a genetic potential when it comes to managing stress (nutritional, environmental, emotional, financial, physical, etc.) however, once we have met that genetic potential the body is no longer able to keep up with the demands placed on it.  When this happens we become catabolic (tissue breakdown) while our anabolic (tissue build up) processes are suppressed.  When we do not understand what stress is or how it affects us, it becomes obvious, as to how and why, so many are experiencing symptoms of chronic fatigue, musculoskeletal pain and dysfunction, sleep disturbances, gut and immune system dysfunction, fibromyalgia, etc.

Precious serotonin is synthesized in your body from tryptophan, an amino acid (protein building block) found in foods like turkey, beef and cheese. Tryptophan first converts to a substance called 5-HTP, which then converts directly into serotonin.  This crucial three-step process can be short-circuited by a number of things.  For example, if there is not enough tryptophan in your diet – a problem for many of us- your body cannot manufacture enough 5-HTP or serotonin.

Now that we know that few foods contain 5-HTP or serotonin themselves, maintaining a sufficient supply of tryptophan is where it can get tricky as our food supply is no longer what it once was.  Tryptophan is found in high protein foods like turkey, beef, pork, dairy products, chicken and eggs; but in proportion to the other 21 amino acids that compose protein foods, it is the runt. In addition, what animals are being fed these days is magnifying the issue.  Rather than the grasses and other plants that wild animals once grazed on, our modern stock-yard animals are now fed low-tryptophan grains like corn.  This serves in fattening the animals in record time but the meat from these animals is much lower in tryptophan. To compound the problem, we humans have increased our consumption of low-tryptophan, grain-based carbohydrates like bread, pasta, corn, cookies, and so on, further diminishing our access to tryptophan!

As expressed earlier, there are several factors that can lead to fibromyalgia. Being able to identify and manage personal stressors and other factors that deplete serotonin, as well. Other factors that effect the hormonal pathways, either on your own or working together with your local CHEK Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach, you can then begin to identify your deficiencies and create a plan geared towards restoring optimal functions to all systems of the body.

www.eastwesthealing.com

Bowled over by great physio service!

Not literally of course as being literally bowled over by physio would probably defeat the object really!

I haven’t got round to winging about it on here yet, but from the moment I woke up on the first day of my holiday I’ve been going through a flare (definitely a flare rather than a fizzle this time!) in my neck and shoulders. Last Tuesday morning I could barely move until the stiffness wore off and I had to use my TENS machine pretty much all day (which may explain why Kate-Kate the Sat Nav started speaking in tongues (mainly Polish) and hasn’t worked properly since, but that’s another story). It seemed to get a bit better through the holiday (oh, the power of relaxation), but on Sunday morning I woke up with a corker of a migraine, which I’m sure is caused by the neck and shoulder pain, as the two do tend to go together with me. I spent pretty much all Sunday in bed (or on sofa, having come down because I felt slightly better and then found I felt too ill to go back up to bed again), and thought I’d kicked it on Monday, only to have it come bounding back at lunch time. (Migraines do tend to linger, even when you’ve got rid of the main agonising headache part.)

So … this morning, in a fit of wild optimism (especially wild as I do actually have a booked appointment tomorrow), I phoned the physio department and asked if by any chance my physio had a cancellation or something and could see me today. ‘Can you get here for 11.30?’ said the receptionist, without even the usual grilling as to why I needed to see someone. You could have knocked me down with a feather!

Well for all my moans about the NHS, there’s little pockets they get really, really right, and my physio department (and indeed my physio) is definitely one of them! In fact she recommended a year’s supply of cake the other day … what a wonderful woman she is. (But that’s another story too!)

Almost to Liftoff!

2 more days.

I am so excited, I cannot even think of a theme to write about in this post! I am having trouble sleeping, concentrating, doing basic chores like cooking and gardening. I think I’m mentally already in Europe.

I’m in the midst of last-minute tasks. Teaching my husband how to care for the garden and houseplants, packing and re-packing as I edit out items to make my backpack lighter, reassuring the cats who seem to know something’s up, and eating up all the food in the fridge that I know my husband won’t touch in the 5 weeks I’m gone.  I even deep-cleaned the house yesterday, since this is realistically the last time it will be vacuumed in almost 2 months.

I feel good – my body is at its normal level of achiness, but nothing unbearable. I don’t even think I’m stressed – I feel like I’m on vacation already. Right now my biggest worry is whether I’m packing too many books for the flight. I feel confident and clear-headed. No fibro-fog!

This is my last post before I fly to Europe. To everyone who has encouraged me in the past year as I’ve prepared for this life-changing journey – THANK YOU!

I’ll see you in Venice!

[Via http://chronictraveler.wordpress.com]

Invisible Illness Awareness Week

Invisible Illness Awareness Week September 14-20th.

96% of illnesses are invisible!! To read more visit www.invisibleillness.com

I thought I would do this even though I missed the deadline, after all what the heck!!

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Fibromyalgia, Diabetes and Arthritis, I can’t seem to do things in small numbers.

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:I have been being diagnosed since 2002, Diabetes first followed by Fibromyalgia and then Arthritis.

3. But I had symptoms since: It seems like forever! I remember going to a Doctor in 1998 because of leg pain. Major leg pain. I was in accounting school and he told me it was from sitting in class and not being used to it for that length of time. I accepted it and dealt with it. 

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Admitting I can’t do it all, and having to remove my super woman cape.

5. Most people assume: That I am just fine.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Wanting to stay in bed when it hurts too much to and stumbling about once I am up until I get my bearings.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don’t have one, never have.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My lap top, it goes where I go!

9. The hardest part about nights are: When I can’t sleep no matter what I do, and I am exhausted the next day!

10. Each day I take 8 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 8

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Have yet to try any.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Invisible, I can sit and look just as normal as the next person.

13. Regarding working and career: I am not working at this time, I am in college majoring in web design.

14. People would be surprised to know: The level of frustration I can actually reach!!!!!

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: My limitations, I can’t run, I can’t go non-stop all day like I used to.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Improve! It was a lot of work! I went from using a walker to a cane to now just gimping along.

17. The commercials about my illness: Too unrealistic. Geta real person, not an actress, take off the make up and fancy clothes, bring out the sweats, mess up the hair and maybe some dark circles under the eyes.. Now thats more realistic!

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: redoing houses that is.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: My level of activity and learning to pace myself.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: The computer

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: After the initial shock that something was seriously wrong wore off I would spend the day with my kids and grandkids doing the things I normally can’t.

22. My illness has taught me: So much! I am not invincible, I do not judge others by appearance, I am more patient and compassionate and when some one needs to talk I really listen to what they are saying after finding out how it feels when people don’t listen and you really need to talk!

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: I was told I had no idea what pain is. This upset me more than anything else that has been said about my illnesses. I live with pain everyday and have long enough to forget what it feels like to know what not feeling pain is!

24. But I love it when people: Treat me like they would anyone else.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: There is always someone out there worse off than I am, and this is so true!

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Life is not over it is just changing!

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How ignorant people can be, or unwilling to learn about the illnesses.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Talk to me on the phone all night when I was too sore to sleep’

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I hope people read and learn and become informed.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Exuberant!!!

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com

[Via http://tallison65.wordpress.com]

Started two new classes this week!

Bad timing, but unfortunately the school does not go by my schedule. Algebra 1b and Internet Concepts will be the new brain teasers. Algebra befuddles me, and I have to work, work, work just to get the general idea. I did  pass Algebra 1a, barely and I mean barely, so there is a glimmer of hope for Algebra 1b. Now Internet Concepts has me so excited if I could dance I would be dancing on the table! by the end of this class I will have actually built a web page on my own, how cool is that!

One thing on my side is that my 7-year-old starts school tomorrow so my days can be more devoted to my homework. And hopefully school will tire her out some so we get more sleep at night. She has had me up several  nights in a row for a drink or just to sit, so at 4am this morning I am so tired and so sore and it was time for a talk. She is 7 so the plan is a glass of water full of ice to keep cold (she does not have to wake me for a drink)  If she wakes up instead of getting me up she is allowed to go sleep on the couch. She agreed to this and we will see how this works. We had the same talk later this morning just to make sure she was awake enough at 4am to get it all. I just hope that the alarm wakes me up at 6 am so I can get her off to school, I need a bullhorn most of the time, and with the little sleep I have had it may take more than that!

 

 

[Via http://tallison65.wordpress.com]

Pour Some Sugar on Me

Sometimes, I think sugar is the devil.  Trust me, I’ve got the pictures to prove it.  Look how evil these coke products are.  Can you believe that there is twelve spoons of sugar in a 12 oz. can of coke?

I have been eating a lot less of it lately, and I can notice a change in my body.  I feel more energenic, which is weird, since sugar makes me super hyper.  I’m sure some intelligent person can post a comment here to explain the whole science behind the sugar high verses the sugar crash, etc.  I don’t feel the need to.  All I know is that I crave it all the time, and it is hard as hell to say no to.  I know it is addictive as hell.  But because of my health being the way it is, I’m really trying hard not to have it as much.   I know my family has noticed my cut back on home sweets, as I hear angry snarls and moans about M&M vending machine runs often.  

After getting an email from a friend earlier this week, I thought it was pretty darn scary to see how much sugar is in some of the food I like to drink.  Can you even imagine what is in our food?  I adore my Snapple Iced Teas and after seeing that picture, I am not sure if I can ever drink one again.

Has anyone ever went completly sugar free?  I’d never be able to do it, never, I’m way too addicted.  I went of coke this past January, and I cheat like twice a month just to not fall off the wagon completly.  I’m glad I went off diet soda completly at least.  Seems like Aspertame is even worse for you.  I wrote a post on that ages ago, which you can find in my categories if you desire …

I love it when people think that getting a smoothie is healthier than drinking a pop.  Ummm, looks to me like they both are pretty bad.

Here are a few more scary ass sugar pictures to give you nightmares. 

[Via http://thegirlfromtheghetto.wordpress.com]

On Spirituality.

Seeking God is my top priority in life.

I’ve only begun doing it consistently in earnest recently.

The physical pain and mental anxiety I experienced from fibromyalgia, migraine, and various other ailments are what led me to it.  I believe those problems arose in my life specifically so I could make this change.

Maybe I’m a cliche, but a mix of reading the Bible and Deepak Chopra books has helped quite a bit as well.

Maybe I don’t have a label to give myself (Christian, Buddhist, etc.), but I feel like I’ve been “born again” in my own way.  Maybe I don’t profess faith in the virgin birth or the resurrection, but I feel like I am a “believer” of sorts and cannot help but feel happy about “my faith.”  I want to celebrate, but haven’t yet decided how.

So what do I believe, exactly?

That God exists.  That I am not separate from him/her/it.  That the God of all major religions is the same God being viewed through different lenses.  That people who speak of Spirit, the Universe, energy, Light, Lord, Mother-Father etc. are all talking about the same thing.  That God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and loving.

That faith means knowing you are taken care of by God and do not have to worry about yourself.  Knowing that even in the worst-feeling and worst-seeming situations, things are okay.  Faith is shown by surrender.  If you’re worrying, you aren’t having faith.  If you’re trying to control the situation or predict the future, you aren’t having faith.

That the major opposites in play in this world are not good and evil, but love and fear.  The most perfect love is God’s love, and it can remove all fear.  How to make decisions?  Look at your motivation.  If it is fear, what you’re about to do is not in line with God.

That spiritual growth is like tending to a garden.  You don’t pull a few weeds and become finished.  It is a process that is never ending.  You might have to pull those same weeds everyday for the rest of your life.  You definitely need the on-going water and sunshine.

That the most important priority I can have is to seek God.  It doesn’t matter if my To do list is 5 pages deep or if I have something scheduled right now or even if people are counting on me.  God comes first, and I should be consciously connected before I partake in anything.

[Via http://elginjessica.wordpress.com]

Lick a Stick and Go Jump...by Lisa Harmon

Kenai had another accupuncture appt Wednesday, and gave Dr R a glimpse at his panicky puppy mood: he was scared of the not quite shiny floor he’d walked on twice already, scared of the tech he’d been playing smoochies with Friday, and scared of the two kittens in the boarding window. Kittens? Not like they’re sabre tooth tigers, baby love… But he dutifully held still, for the most part, and by halfway through his puppypuncture, he was heavy lidded and half asleep on his feet. When we left to go pay he was determined to go back in the room for more! Once he gets used to the proceedure, I’ll be able to get pictures. The floor, techs, and kittens, btw, weren’t scary anymore, and he was looking for fun. One thing I need to do is find a way to get him more exercise. He’s getting back into that intense critter chase state again, and I’ve had to return to the gentle leader just to take him out for his after meal business. That is something I could go the rest of my life without. BB is still spaz pup after his puppy puncture session Tuesday, though he is less uncomfortable. Evidence: he puts more weight on the gimpy leg, and doesn’t worry as much about his back half being messed with. Thank heavens the weather has turned cool a month early, and oh my does it feel like a lovely fall is about to appear. The cool air makes a girl want to snuggle into a soft sweater and leave the windows open. The sumac is already turning red, and the dogwoods are starting to color too. Yummy. Our training time with Lisa Friday was buckets of fun. While he’s in this “intensity” state, ya can’t really train or practice in a formal way and expect it to stick. So we did it sideways. All play, yet the groundwork for later public work was being laid all the same. Lisa pulled out all kinds of new things (she really has cool stuff, he thinks); hula hoops, yoga mats, bright shiny cones, baby gates…Kenai didn’t like the noise the sand in the hula hoops made, so we got him to walk over them on the floor. You would think a dog used to our living room wouldn’t care! His hesitancy pointed out something else I’d missed in his puppy socialization: walking over and through obstacles. Being somewhat unsteady, I tend to remove things in my walking paths. That or just walk around them. So he learned to walk around with me. Problem comes when there isn’t room for his big butt and my bigger butt both! When one of us has to navigate an obstacle, he has a tendency to steer clear regardless of where that puts me. Often times in such a situation, he knows the “behind” word, but that puts his shoulders behind my behind and doesn’t allow me to use them for balance. There’s always going to be times when that’s unavoidable, like the anti-shoplifting tag detectors we have to walk through in stores. But boy can step over some stuff easier than me. See, he’s not a clutz and I am, at least I am now. Even as a puppy, Kenai was THE most perfectly well co-ordinated Dane puppy I’d ever seen. Not once did he trip over his own feet, and they were, ach-hum, substantial. They all do that, but not him. He never did the “crooked run” either, where the back end is going sideways while the front end was going forwards, until he could get all the parts working together. He was just like an adult, only smaller in proportion. For a short time anyway. Kids toys, curbs, and other small stuff he can learn to walk over now that this here gymnast turned balance challenged non-gymnast just stumbles over stuff. It’s not like he’s short and would have to jump. He could walk without picking his feet up much higher than normal. Latching onto whatever develops and running with it is Lisa’s greatest skill. She just goes with a dog’s flow. She decided to make an obstacle course of her training center, and it’s construction was well supervised. He loved the kitty tunnels, especially if you played peek through them: that’d get a big slapped-down play bow. I rolled the hula hoops around, and Lisa played peek through them too. If I’d been thinking, I would’ve suggested rolling the hula hoops while running with them. Anyone remember that game as a kid, running along with a hoop? Not that I’d do it, but I’d suggest it to Lisa… An empty plastic jar was fun to chase, until it chased him. Wee one ran home to momma and played his own peek: peek around me to see if its safe! Scaredy pup-o-mine. I got up and played keep away with it, then it was a big trophy for him to bat around. We got him to start walking through tight spaces, working on a bad habit he’d developed about a year ago: refusing elevators and bathroom stalls. Tight spaces don’t bother him here at home, but that’s all his recent lack of comfort in public. They didn’t bother him anywhere when he was little. Until you’ve had a service dog, or are close to someone who does, it is nearly impossible to think of all the “obstacles” and “pitfalls” to prepare a puppy for. I’m just amazed at the breadth of an SD program puppy raiser’s awareness. I read in a post about Talos (blog link to the right) getting a chance to play in an agility tunnel, and thought about him the moment we showed Kenai a tunnel. I’ve read other puppy raisers’ blogs and how they planned outings specifically so that the puppy would walk on concrete, grass, tile, vinyl, stainless steel, sand, gravel, laminate flooring, carpet…every conceivable surface texture. Then every conceivable sound, or person, or animal. Puppy raisers are amazing, well and beyond. I’ve raised pups all my life, but never for as difficult a working life as an SD, and I’ll tell ya I never once really thought about what surface we were walking on! I’m waxing lyrical, aren’t I? Sorry. Typically, Kenai wouldn’t take treats so we were forced to be creative. He is ga-ga for butter, so he got to lick a stick. I swear this dog belonged to Paula Dean in a past life.  Then Lisa discovered the problem I’d been slammin up against all his life: he loses interest in toys and treats quickly. Even the toy on the rope he can chase like a maniac. What Kenai wants? To sniff, to shred a plastic bag or two, sniff a bit, check in with me if I move, sniff around this and that, play a game of keep away, sniff, get his rump rubs, and sniff some more. The nose. Behold the power of cheese? Not.   With Kenai not caring about stuff on the floor, we decided to up the ante and make him work for his tailored-to-boy reward. He learned a new command, “go jump”! Much like herding a horse into a chute, if he could go around he would. But with just a bit of guiding towards it via his collar, or some luring, over he went without a second thought. He’s a pretty tolerant fellow, once his initial uncertainty is dealt with as a rule. The “go jump” wasn’t his idea of great gobs of fun, but he’d do it if I wanted. The reward part is great gobs of fun, though. True to form, Kenai didn’t care for a lick of butter after his “jump”, so he got a rump rub instead. He didn’t show Lisa his flamenco puppy dance but she did get a rise out of him. He-he funny butt! That was Kenai’s training session this week, and we all enjoyed it. Boy were we bushed when it was over, though, and headed home with the intention of getting a nap. BB was scheduled for his puppy puncture session, but Mom wasn’t going to take him, I discovered. She has a cold, worse than mine at the moment. But he really needs the pain relief and relaxation, so I bucked up and put him in the car. To tire out the nascar engine powering him, first stop was the puppy store. All over he trotted, everything he sniffed, everyone he tried to con into a game of some kind. The best adjective for BB is “irrepressible”. His sense of fun never quits. Neither does his pulling like a sled dog until he’s as lathered as a wore out cutting horse. He’s what you might call greenbroke. The call came before we left the store: the vet canceled to take her sick child home. Understandable but disappointing. Screaming legs or not, I decided to give Beebs plenty of an outing so he goes home tired. So up in the car he went, and off we go to the park. Now BB is still deeply disturbed by children, and what should be there but a few toddlers. Oy. Well, I take him out anyway and hurry to the open soccer field to let him indulge the nose awhile. Anytime kids started coming near us, I move on. This gave him a chance to see them, hear them, watch them but not have to interact. We went to the playground area not being used, and he smelled everything that didn’t fly away. Good boy. Smell the kids scents, and swipe the slobber off with a towel. (BB foams). He was tired enough after 15 mintes of walking that we actually started getting a loose leash, believe it or not. Good thing too, since I was ready to drop. I don’t trust him enough to let small children pet him yet. He might scare them with his sudden barking. Older kids he’s better with, but still not the little ones. Associations from my neice. Had it been Kenai, no problem–he’s very good about toddlers and lets them do pretty much anything. Not Beebs. Kids freak him out. With my legs shaking and losing control over my feet, I decided to take home chinese. Steak in the fridge or not, I wouldn’t be able to stay up long enough to cook. So BB got to wait in the car while I ordered, and we watched all kinds of stuff together while the order was being made. A man walked right past the car and no growl came. Good boy! See the nice old lady with the walker? What a good boy…its a busy parking lot, and he was too tired to fuss about anything. Yippee! Gotta tell ya, BB is the slobberiest foam slinging dog in creation. Wow. Cujo got nothing on him. It got bad enough I hit  the AC to turn the car into an icebox. That slows down the slobber manufacturing. When ya have to wipe the inside of the windshield to see where you’re going, ya have to do something different! Both boys crashed hard, me right along with them. I’ll need the weekend to recover enough to cook those steaks, too. Ouch. Hopefully Mom’s cold will get better soon, and hopefully it won’t wipe me out as well, because BB woke up and wanted to play.

[Via http://greatdaneservicedog.wordpress.com]

Lucky & Loved

“The world is not respectable;

it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever;

but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter;

and in these, the spirit blooms timidly and struggles to the light amid the thorns.”

~George Santayana~

What a busy week it has been. A struggle for sure but filled with so many rewards.

Yesterday I had a phone call regarding doing an internet radio show to promote my charity work!

The Crafters with Love Fan page hit 200 fans this morning.

@crafterslove on Twitter got 500 followers this morning

and I just got 3000 followers! WOW!

People are donating money, time, their talents, their Twitter streams & avatars.. It is simply overwhelming what people are doing to help my cause. Now I look back at a previous post I made about not being able to be a nurse (Read it here) and believe that I have my answer. Things like “Nick” and the boom that Crafters with Love has gotten in less than a week doesn’t just happen. It was handed to me … and I’m going to use my gifts & my tremendous love of people to do whatever I can to make it grow.

When I reflect over the past week alone, my head just spins in amazement that the wonderful things that have happened and the lovely people I’ve became friends with as a result. Truthfully.. my body isn’t dealing with it, but I feel SO blessed in this moment in time to be given such a wonderful opportunity to touch lives.

The world can be respectable and I’m seeing it each day. How lucky I am to know so many beautiful people!

[Via http://sassynurse.wordpress.com]

Latest breaking news

I haven’t had the energy to write. Or even stay out of bed for any extended period of time. I finally got in to see a doctor and of course I’m titering off the narcotics. I think that’s what I wanted. I thought they were not helping as much as they were in the beginning. And now I”m on Paxil because for two weeks previous I’d been crying my eyes out over family problems…and I normally don’t cry unless it’s really bad. It’s NOT really bad it’s just my oldest daughter’s usual stunts. But still I was constantly crying and going further and further in a downward spiral. My social anxiety is at an all time high. Don’t think I’ll be making it to the support group meeting today. That sucks.

And now, for whatever reason all my energy has got up and walked out the door without me. Pretty weird and I don’t know why… it could be from titering off the opioids and titering on the Paxil (I’m no dummy I’m starting out at 5mgs on the Paxil!).

I started back up on all the vitamins and supplements that I tend to ignore when I don’t feel so bad. My husband told me I just need to get some exercise. Yeah…I’ll get right on that as soon as my energy decides to waltz back in the door!

So that’s my excuse…well, most of it. Hoping I get back to being me soon because this sucks. And blows. That’s a visual

[Via http://fibrochondriac.wordpress.com]

Seeking Inspiration

Trials, temptations, disappointments;

all these are helps instead of hindrances, if one uses them rightly.

They not only test the fiber of a character, but strengthen it.

Every conquered temptation represents a new fund of moral energy.

Every trial endured & weathered in the right spirit makes a soul

nobler & stronger than it was before.

~James Buckham~

Since last Friday I have been working my ass off putting together a specific charity cause for a guy that I’ve never met, who lives in Texas and has just REALLY had it bad. It’s one of those inspiring stories that touches your heart as soon as you read it and makes you realize that no matter what you’re going through.. someone always has it worse.

Read his story & about the cause here: Nick

I’m pleased with my efforts and it’s absolutely worth it! However, today.. I’m exhausted. I have struggled with sleep, nausea & fevers all week! Today, I’m resting in bed and plugging along with a few things for Nick’s cause. Everyone has been great helping me, it’s amazing the response I’ve gotten in such a short time. This confirms to me that I’m doing the right thing and it’s fantastic to see other people who believe in it too! Feeling this bad.. the natural tendency is to go into self-preservation mode and shut out the world. (EVERYONE) One small addition of stress will make things worse. I love people.. I love helping them.. I love listening to them & being there for them.. so I’m torn between my heart & my body. My body just wants me to lay here and stare at the wall all day but my heart has so many goals to accomplish & that battle in turn makes me feel a bit discouraged. So… instead of giving up on today and what I want to accomplish, I turned to my quote collection for inspiration to get me through. The quote above is what I came up with.. and between that and the out pouring of love & smiles I am receiving from my Twitter friends… I’m keeping up the fight.

No matter what.. someone always has it worse.

[Via http://sassynurse.wordpress.com]

34 y/o old chick...

This is a picture taken today of my “junk drawer.” It is the top shelf of my computer stand.

This drawer has always been a place to put stuff b4 I actually put it away. Mail, coupons, paper-junk. It has also been a mini-lipgloss junkie stash for as long as I can remember. But today when I opened it, I just felt sad. This drawer used to have some Benadryl and maybe some cough drops, acne medicine and moisturizing eye drops. But now, now it’s full of meds that I have to take.

There was a brief time when I slightly enjoyed some of these meds; such as the pain killers and tranquilizers. But ever since the Fibromyalgia hit full force, and with the recent root-canal and all the allergic reaction *ickyness*…this drawer is full of crap. Too much garbage for a 34 year old to take, that’s for sure. I mean, I know I don’t feel well…I really, really don’t feel well!! I know the point of these medicines are to relax me, help me with pain and some of the MANY reactions to my horrible, horrible Fibromyalgia. Enough is enough already. I can’t believe I would ever utter the words…no more vicodin please!!!! This recent root-canal pain though is off the friggin’ charts, and left me with little to no choice. The pain never fully goes away, so I still cry like a baby here and there.

At least, yeah…I have a kick-ass stash of MAC Lipglass and LipBalms to cheer me up!!! That and my internet and Comsuckast ON Demand (when it fucking works.)

Things are really hard for me. I know I keep saying that. But it’s a little different now. Fucking around with my nerves when I have a central nervous system disorder that puts me in LOTS more pain.

Ummm, yeah….I’m fairly close to LOSING MY MIND WITH HOW SICK I FEEL ;c(

[Via http://kimberlysawczuk.com]

Facing my own Sx, Dx, and Tx

When you live with a loved one who is grappling with one or more mental illness challenges, your own self care can take a back seat. When it is storm time you find yourself bustling about boarding up windows and bringing in the patio furniture. When the storm passes you are so relieved that you exhale and bask in the sun for a while.

But what happens when your loved one has received a thoughtful diagnosis (Dx), is getting adequate treatment (Tx), and is actually managing their symptoms (Sx) pretty darn well over all? What is your routine then? When your job as “storm trooper” (a phrase I just coined) is obsolete, how you redefine your place in the family and in your world?

I have noticed that in the last couple years of relative calm since my spouse’s Sx, Dx, and Tx are all managed pretty well that I have felt a little lost. What does that make me? A good spouse? Co-dependent or crazy? I don’t know, but I have figured out that I had my own depressive Sx that I have needed to seek Tx for. Symptoms like fatigue, chronic pain, lack of motivation, feeling overwhelmed. Does that mean I have depression… or fibromyalgia? It is all just words. I want to know what is wrong and how to make it better. 

Will I ever be in a place to have more answers and fewer questions? Will I have more energy and less pain? Is there ever a magic solution? Well, that is one question I know the answer to… no.

I actually found a little article I liked on ways to reduce stress. I’m going to go read that again.

[Via http://journey2balance.wordpress.com]

NO LONGER ASHAMED OF THIS ILLNESS

A diagnosis is burden enough without being burdened by secrecy and shame.”  Jane Pauley

DAY 6:  I refuse to be embarrassed by this illness anymore and I refuse to walk away from  this illness in shame.

This chronic, ongoing, relentless illness has caused me much embarrassment.    Most people understand the kind of illness when you are not well for a short period of time and you require rest and drugs or even surgery.  They even understand the kind of illness that is progressively debilitating.  However, even though I was basically bed-ridden for the first three years, I now generally function in the mornings in between setbacks.  Occasionally, I make an even bigger step forward and I begin to socialize a little even though I must often  cancel at the last minute.  The problem is that I do not require a cast or even a cane; I have no bumps or bruises to look ill.  Therefore, I become embarrassed when I admit that I am still ill since I know I will receive a flattering comment, “You look so well.”  I even feel self-conscious that I may be at a restaurant or a concert and I feel like the acquaintance  who sees me must be thinking, “How sick can she be?”  But mostly, I am embarrassed because I am still ill after twelve years.  Who is sick for twelve years??!!! Unfortunately, thousands of people suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia are sick for decades.  Too often there are magazine articles read by the general public that attribute much of this illness to our Type A personality or a result of suppressing some deep emotions.  Therefore, I am embarrassed to say what illness I have.  I am embarrassed because most people think that my only symptom is fatigue and they often respond. “Oh I know what you mean.  I’m so tired myself”. I am embarrassed because the illness sounds so manageable: ” You probably just need some rest, a little fresh air, some regular exercise and you will feel much better.”   I am embarrassed because I continually meet people who tell me that they too have Fibromyalgia/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but they are working full time and generally maintain a “normal life”.  I am embarrassed because too many people are being diagnosed with these illnesses since it is a catch all for a multitude of symptoms that can’t otherwise be diagnosed.  That makes it very difficult for those of us who really have the whole gamut of symptoms. I’ve been thinking a lot lately how I often downplay the debilitating effects of my illness and how I quickly change the topic due to my embarrassment. And yet as I consider even the extent of my isolation and aloneness, I doubt whether many people could cope with just that one aspect of the illness let alone the symptoms that lead to that state.  As part of my steps to optimum health, I refuse to be embarrassed any longer since I do have a disease that Timothy Kenny describes well in his book, Living With Chronic Fatigue: “We have a serious disorder that disrupts the immune system, degenerates muscle tissue, destroys normal metabolism, robs our memory and thinking abilities, and causes brain damage, among other things.  This is real – it is not imagined.” I believe that with my doctor’s new treatment protocol for me I have a terrific opportunity to become well.  However, I believe that shame does not help the healing process and I also refuse to leave behind this illness in shame and embarrassment.

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