I did not want to admit this to myself or anyone else…but I am seriously sick 
I am humongously swollen from head to toe. I feel sick and feverish. I feel like I weigh a bazillion pounds. Any strength I gained after the IVIg is gone and I’m worse off than before it. My head hurts. My guts hurt. My skin is creepy all over. The worst part is shortness of breath. Every little movement starts me gasping All my joints hurt. All my muscles hurt. Even with my o2 cranked up to 4, I still feel like I am suffocating.
I have no clue what is wrong. I need to call the doc. Tonight is the last straw. I am not coping well.
Like I said, I feel like a failure….as if it’s my fault that I am not better. While listening to scripture studies on BYU TV, something made me aware of the hopelessness about my health. I realized I was holding my muscles more rigid than I ought to. The more it hurts to breathe, the more I try to avoid it. I was unconsciously sort of holding my breath. That surely can’t be helping things.
IVIg was going to be what made me better. I’m feeling very discouraged right now.
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