I’m currently a physical wreck, brought on by the recent period of hypomania I just went through. It only lasted four-five days before I managed to knock it on the head with dear old Seroquel, but it was more of a severe episode than usual and kind of noticeable to people around me.
For a couple of days I completely forgot to take my medication–all of it. Even the thyroid pills and the birth control which I take to suppress my INCREDIBLY PAINFUL AND LENGTHY PERIODS. Needless to say, this worries me a bit because my thyroid is still swollen so it really wouldn’t take much to set it off again. Also, annoyingly, I’m on the rag and it HURTS.
An even more annoying development was the awful crawly feeling I had over my entire body that lasted several days and had me convinced that I was infested with fleas. That was deeply unpleasant, to say the least.
The lack of sleep and total loss of appetite, whilst completely unnoticed by me at the time, did bad things to my body. By about 11pm on New Year’s Eve rolled round, I had really bad chest pains, my heart was racing, and I felt as though I could barely breathe. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and thinking ‘If I don’t sleep tonight, I’m going to die.’
Cue the Seroquel, and close to fifteen hours of completely unrefreshing drug-induced sleep. That’s the downside of Seroquel, for me. It knocks me out, but it doesn’t seem to take me into healing!mode when I sleep and consequently I’m in a pretty shitty fibro flare and have been since I woke up yesterday.
Back is spasmy, knees are killing, tendons in my hands and ankles are Not Happy Jan, nerve pain everywhere, but particularly in the tender points at my elbows and knees–they’re always the worst. My right shoulder feels like it’s been pierced by a spear, and as for the rest of me, well, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. However, I no longer feel like I’m about to drop dead from a heart attack, so I suppose that’s something.
I spent yesterday in bed reading, as I was too sore and too sedated to do anything else. I am contemplating a trip into the city today to buy another book, but I will be taking my awesome collapsible cherry cane with me because it’s more than likely that my back and hips will start to protest if I do too much walking. They’re protesting now, alas.
Apart from all that, though, I’m in a good mood, which is nice. But it’s more than likely that my mood is going to start to go UP & UP & UP again. I can feel it starting to lift right now, and I can tell that despite the aches & pains & the painkiller fog I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight, so I think I’ll be knocking myself out at about 9pm tonight to see if I can nip it in the bud.
I hurt too damn much to risk a repeat of the past couple of days.
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